One of These Days
by Caro-chan
Summary: Based on the song by Tim McGraw. DxH, cuz I love it. Please R, and while you're at it, feel free to R! :D


One Of These Days

Copyright May 2001 Purple Hays Publishing Co.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters, and I don't claim to. All I own is this story. (Although I wish I owned Duo. ^_^)

~A.C. 186~

"Hurry up, I wanna get home!" a small boy called to his friends as they ran down the street of the L2 colony where they lived. All three of the boys wore similar clothes: traditional black priest's robes with white clerical collars, scruffy black tennis shoes, and small backpacks slung over their shoulders. Anyone who gave them a look would think they were a strange lot, their argument supported by the boy in the lead of the little pack, who sported a long brown braid that extended halfway down his back. The braided one turned to his two friends and cried, "Last one home's a moldy banana!!", before streaking down the sidewalk towards a small church on the corner. The door opened, revealing an elderly man, also dressed in priest's garb, standing at the top of the stair. He smiled at the three mischievous boys. A young woman wearing a nun's habit joined him. The woman turned to him and smiled. "Looks as though the Terrible Trio is home, Father Maxwell". 

The man turned to her and smiled back, his eyes dancing. "Really, Sister Helen? I could have sworn it was a Duo..." They shared a quiet chuckle, but quickly composed themselves before the boys reached them, out of breath.

The boy with the braid came to a screeching halt before the two, nearly plowing into them. He grinned up at them innocently. "Howdy-do. Guess what? Grant's a moldy banana." He turned to look at his friend, who was pretending to look upset. 

Father Maxwell chuckled and picked up the boy. "How was your day at school, boys?" he asked, as they turned to enter the church. 

The third boy answered, "I painted a picture of a cat, but Duo smeared it up". His lower lip began to tremble. 

Sister Helen looked at Duo, a stern expression on her face. "Really, Duo, was that necessary?" 

Duo's eyes grew extremely wide, replying, "Yes, because his picture was prettier than mine, and I wanted mine to be the prettiest!" 

Father Maxwell put Duo back on the ground and frowned at him, making Duo feel very uncomfortable. He could feign innocence all he wanted, but when Father gave him that Look, he wished with all his little heart that the ground would grant him mercy and swallow him whole. "Duo, that was a very mean thing to do. I want you to apologize to him". 

Duo shuffled around to his friend, his eyes glued to the floor in front of him. "Sorry, Jeff", he mumbled. 

Jeff grinned back at him. "It's okay. I'll make another one tomorrow". 

Duo smiled, his expression relieved. "Thanks. Hey, let's go outside for awhile!" he turned to Father. "Is that alright?" Father nodded his consent, and the boys ran whooping and hollering out the door.

When they reached the front walk, they found a woman kneeling on the ground, talking quietly to a young boy about the same age as Duo. The woman gave the child a weak smile as she pushed him towards the door of the church. "Go on, now. I have to leave. Go inside and talk to the nice man, he'll help you. Good luck". With that, she stood up and walked away. 

The boys stared at the newcomer, who was crying softly. He looked very awkward. His clothes were extremely shabby and dirty. His hair was a bright shade of red, but it looked dusty bronze instead, because of all the dirt caked into it. Underneath the layer of grime on his face, many large freckles were visible. As his tears ran down his cheeks, they carried away some of the grime, making his face look very streaky. He looked so incredibly silly to the boys that they began to giggle. 

"Where did you come from? The pigpen?" Grant asked. They all broke into cruel peals of laughter. 

Duo stepped forward and took him by the shoulder, pulling him towards the church. "Come on, we'll take you to Father, then you can get a good bath" he said, barely containing his giggles. When they looked up the stairs, however, they found Father Maxwell already outside, his hands on his hips. His expression immediately told the boys they were in deep trouble. 

He walked down the stairs and took the small newcomer by the hand. "Don't mind these naughty boys, they're just being mean. Come inside, my name is Father Maxwell...". His voice was cut off by the closing door. 

Duo looked at Grant and Jeff nervously. "Did you know Father was standing back there?" he asked them fearfully. Wide-eyed, they both shook their heads. Duo sighed and said, "Well, we might as well go in and take what's coming to us". The others nodded, and they climbed up the stairs along with him.

***************

The next morning, Duo, Grant, and Jeff sat at the breakfast table, their bowls only filled up halfway with porridge. Across from them sat their new bunkmate, Kyle. He was now dressed in the same priest's clothes as the other boys, and his hair and face had been cleared of dirt. He was busy wolfing down the full bowl of porridge and piece of toast Sister Helen had given him. Not only did the boys think he was strange, they were also steaming mad that he had been given more food then they had. They finished up and headed out for school. Duo and his friends walked ahead, laughing and joking. Kyle followed them slowly, shuffling his feet and kicking pebbles as he walked. Duo turned to jeer at him. "Hey, Kyle! When we get to school, don't make Mrs. Dorwing mad. I've heard she gives kids wedgies if they're caught touching her stuff". The other boys giggled. Kyle just continued walking, as though Duo had said nothing. 

"Hey! Look at us when we talk to you!" Jeff snarled. 

Kyle ignored them. The boys stopped walking and stared at him. Kyle pushed past them and headed on. Duo grinned evily. "I've got an idea..." he began, as they continued towards the school.

After a very long day, Kyle began the very long walk back to the church alone. He was grateful to have some peace, because he had been tormented all day long by Duo's group of friends. Just as he was nearing the church, he heard a giggle come from an alley to his right. "GET HIM!" a voice cried. The boys jumped out from the shadows, knocking him down. 

"Get his arms!" 

"Don't let him get away!" 

"I've got him!" 

"Bring him over here!" 

Their calls overlapped each other as they hauled him to the back of the alley. Jeff and Grant held him down, while Duo picked up a bucket of water they had found. "This'll clean you up!" he cried, and he dumped the cold water over Kyle's head. Kyle sputtered and spat as the boys laughed riotously and ran away to the church, slamming the door behind them. 

Sister Helen looked up from her work and frowned. She hadn't liked the attitude they had taken towards Kyle since his arrival, and his absence from their group worried her. She walked over to where they had fallen over, exahausted from running and laughing. "Where's Kyle? Didn't you wait for him after school let out?" 

They looked at each other and grinned. Duo stood up and said, "Yeah, but we couldn't find him, so we came back here. We figured he'd beat us here, hasn't he come home yet?" he asked innocently as the other boys giggled. 

Sister frowned even more. "If anything has happened to him, I'm holding you boys responsible. Now go back and wash up, and get started on your homework". 

"Yes, ma'am", they replied together, and scurried to their room.

***************

It was 7:26 that evening and Kyle still hadn't returned home. Father suspected his other little charges had something to do with his disappearance, but they had admitted nothing. He brought them all to his office for a conference. "We're going to split up and search the city for him. He must be here somewhere, and we can't leave him out there tonight. Grant, you head for the East neighborhood, Jeff, take the North neighborhood, Sister will take the South, and Duo, you search the West. I will stay here in case he comes back. If you haven't found him by 8:00, return here". They all nodded agreement and headed out. 

Duo wandered to the west side of the colony, peering down alleyways and checking store fronts. He didn't like Kyle at all, but he didn't really want him out on the streets at night alone. He was just about to head back when he heard a muffled sob coming from the end of another alley. He found Kyle sitting on the ground, hugging his knees to his chest and crying. He still looked a little damp from before. Duo slowly walked towards the boy. Kyle heard him approaching, curling up even tighter. Duo reached a hand to him. "We've been searching the entire colony for you! Come on, it's time to go home". 

Kyle swatted his hand away. "Why? You guys hate me. Why should I go back there!?" 

Duo crossed his arms angrily. "Well, fine, just stay out here by yourself, no skin off my back". He turned to leave, and Kyle began to cry again. Deep down, Duo knew he was been really mean, but he didn't care. He just wanted things to stay the same forever, without new people coming into his life and changing it. 

He returned to the church and told Father he hadn't found him. They waited for weeks for Kyle to return, but he never did, and they never saw him again. For the rest of Duo's life, he remembered how mean he and his friends had been to him. In the end, he might have died anyway in the Maxwell Massacre, but at least he would have been happy for a little while. Sometimes, his mind would drift at night back to the boy, wondering how he had turned out, and whether he had survived alone on the streets of L2.

***************

****

~A.C. 195~

Duo reached towards the door handle, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned to look at Hilde, her eyes puffy from crying. *She's beautiful* he thought to himself, but he quickly cleared the thought from his head as he looked at her. 

Hilde inhaled slowly and said, "Why, Duo? Why do you have to leave me? I thought you weren't going to fight anymore..." She looked down at her feet, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks. 

Duo smiled sadly at her as he pulled her to him. "Aww, Hilde...".

Her arms wrapped around his neck in a tight hug. "Can't you just stay here with me? Please?" 

He stood back and stared into her eyes, willing her to understand. "I can't, Hilde, don't you see? I have to leave". 

Her face twisted painfully as she quickly looked back down at the floor, her tears dripping onto the rug. Duo draped his arm around her shoulder and led her to the couch. They sat down side by side together. "Another war is going to break out soon here in space, I can't just sit here and do nothing. The other Gundam pilots are going to need my help". 

She turned to face him angrily. "Then why can't I come with you? I could help you, too! I can fight!" 

Duo shook his head sadly. "Hilde, you've done your part already, you helped me out. I don't want you to put your life in danger anymore. Please, just stay here..." 

Hilde stood up and walked to the window, her arms crossed. "I don't want to just sit here, either! I want to help free the colonies! Why can't you see that?" 

Duo followed her to the window and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "Because I don't want to lose you..." 

She whipped around to stare at him, her face twitching with anger. "I can't believe you. You're being so selfish! The colonies need all the help they can get, but all you can think about is whether or not someone's home to keep your bed warm for you!"

Now Duo was really angry. "How can you say that, Hilde? I love you! And because I love you, I want you to stay where you won't be in harm's way!" 

Hilde slowly shook her head. "You told me from the beginning you weren't the most devoted person, and now I see you were right". 

Duo stepped towards her, his arms reaching for her. "Please... Hilde..."

Hilde sighed quietly, her breath quivering as though she were sobbing. "Get out of my house". She turned slowly away from him and walked to her bedroom, closing the door. A soft click told Duo she had locked it. 

Duo's eyes closed. He knew he wouldn't be able to talk to her about it now. He picked up his duffel bag as he strode to the door. "Goodbye, Hilde", he whispered quietly before closing the door softly behind him.

***********

In the middle of the night, Duo lay awake on Peacemillion, his mind forbidding him from getting any much-needed rest. He tossed and turned until Heero kicked his mattress from his bottom bunk. 

"Quit flopping around, you're keeping me awake", Heero muttered, rolling onto his side.

"Well, excuse me" Duo retorted, but he quit tossing. His head was just too full of Hilde to sleep peacefully. He felt horrible about leaving her angry. He also missed her, with all of his heart and soul. That had been a week ago, but it still tortured him. Whenever he called her to try to talk, there was no answer. He knew if he didn't get some sleep soon he'd have a much harder time staying focused during battles, but it was impossible for him to put her out of his mind. He wished he was back with her on L2, rummaging through rusty piles of metal, singing old songs together and laughing themselves silly. Besides, Heero wasn't much company at all. Duo listened with mild amusement to the steady breathing that told him his roommate had fallen asleep. He just wished Hilde was doing alright without him, and that she would stay out of trouble...

***************

****

~CHRISMAS MORNING~

As soon as Duo returned from the battlefield, he practically sprinted down the hallway of MO2, scanning the numbers on the doors to find Hilde's hospital room. "158... 160... 162!". He almost knocked the door in with his force. When he had made his way inside, it took him a second or two to find Hilde underneath all of the tubes, wires, and machinery. Even when he had found her, her pale skin blended in almost perfectly with the sterile white sheets she lay on. Shaking, he kneeled down next to her bedside, gripping her tiny white hand in both of his. "What have I done..." He gently kissed the hand held in his own. "It's all my fault... I should have let you come with me..." Never taking his eyes off her unconscious form, he pulled a chair up and sat down. He sat there for seconds, minutes, hours, just staring at her. Finally, he held his face in his hands, his elbows propped on his knees.

*No matter what I do, it always ends up being the wrong choice. My entire life, I've always done exactly what I felt like doing at the moment. I never sat down and thought any of it through. And now, see where it's brought me!* He ran his hands through his hair and stared up at the ceiling, his hands falling into his lap. *It's all my fault she's dying. If I had brought her with me, she would have been perfectly safe on Peacemillion, and I could talked her out of doing anything stupid like this. Well, Shinigami, you brought this on yourself, that's for sure.* He stood up and began to pace around the room, his arms locked behind his back. *If only I'd learned. I'm such an idiot, it's pathetic. I'm such an idiot...* 

A knock on the door sounded, and a nurse walked in the room. "Hello, you must be Hilde's family. She's stable right now, but we're still watching her closely. I need to run some tests, but I should be done soon." She looked at him a little closer, frowning when she saw the anxiety all over his face. "You don't look very good yourself. Why don't you run down to the cafeteria? It's down this hall to the right". 

Duo smiled weakly at her. "Thanks". He turned and walked out of the room, taking a left instead of a right. *Yeah, right, like I'm gonna be able to keep down food at a time like this...* He wandered down the hall for awhile, his mind frantically searching over what he could have done differently. He looked to his right and found himself in front of two large oak doors, with small stained glass windows on either side. He looked at the sign on the door. "Chapel" *Hell, I'm ready to try anything...". He walked in the door.

The room was tiny, but pretty. Three pews on either side faced a small pulpit and altar. A small statue of a cross hung from the ceiling. He was all alone. He knelt to one knee in the aisle, closing his eyes and bowing his head to the floor. His hand instinctively reached for the small silver cross hanging on a chain around his neck as he began to pray. "Hey God... I know I haven't talked to you in a while... man, does this sound lame... but, Hilde's in trouble. I'm so worried about her, God, help me, please. I'm the God of Death, not exactly the right kind of god for this situation... I feel so helpless... Help me, God. Help her." He looked up at the alter, his eyes burning from his unshed tears.

His mind drifted back to all of the mistakes of his life; all of his tragedies. He hated himself for all of the years of his life he had spent killing people, bodily and spiritually. Solo, Kyle, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, and every OZ soldier he had ever murdered filed through his head, bringing to the surface memories he didn't care to recall. Now Hilde had joined the solemn procession, adding more fuel to the flames of guilt inside him. Duo withdrew into himself further and further, wishing with all of his soul that he could leave the world for a place where he couldn't ruin so many lives. When he had almost reached the bottom of his own personal Hell, a voice cut through the darkness.

*Duo?*

*Yes, Father?*

*I want you to pay extra-close attention to what I have to say.*

*But it's almost dinner!*

*Dinner can wait, son. First, I have something to tell you.*

*What is it?*

*In your life, you will come to know many different people. Each of them are important in their own way, and everyone is special. You may even come to love some of those people. But, of all of the people in your life, the most important person to love is yourself. You can not enjoy your life if you don't love yourself. When all seems lost, turn to yourself, and turn to God. You will find salvation there.*

Duo's eyes snapped open, bringing him back to reality. All of those years ago, when Father Maxwell has spoken those words to him, he hadn't understood. In that happy time, all he could think about was his supper. Now, he felt the weight of the Father's words. He could do no good for Hilde hiding in a corner feeling sorry for himself. He needed to be there for her, to help her recover. If she died, he would shoulder the blame on himself, but until then, she needed him, and frankly, he needed her, too. That's why he was always willing to protect her, with his life and beyond.

He stood, tucking his necklace back inside of his shirt. He pulled his black cap back on over his long chestnut hair, then gave a little nod towards the altar. "Thanks, God. Talk to you later..." He turned and walked from the chapel, his spirits a little bit stronger, his soul a lot more secure. He knew now, deep within him, that Father Maxwell was right. In order to love others, he needed to love himself. He would help his Hilde-babe though all of her suffering, and make sure she never felt it again. That was his mission now. And he would never forget the Father's words again. A life isn't life without love.

***************

AN: Checks her notes Man! I've been working on this story since December! -_-* Just shows I have a hard time finishing what I start. But now it's done!! What do you think? It's a lot angstier (is that a word?) than what I usually write, but my mind is just in an angsty phase right now. Final tests, searching colleges, watching my friends graduate and leave me... ;_; It was bound to vent somewhere. Please, please, puh-leeeeeease review! I really enjoy constructive criticism, too. Then I know what I'm doing wrong, so I can fix it for next time. Also, feel free to e-mail or IM me at nylorac15@yahoo.com if you have any questions or comments. Thanks a lot, minna-san! bows deeply


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